Many people live with this voice that repeats that they could be “better” versions of themselves. We accumulate efforts and good resolutions, and yet the feeling of disconnect persists. This discomfort often comes less from a lack of will than from a lack of connection between what we do and what matters to us. This is where living in accordance with your values becomes a real lever.
Psychologists speak of personal or existential values to designate what gives meaning to life. When our actions stray too far, we feel like we’re betraying ourselves, even if everything is going well. Conversely, consciously connecting our actions to these values changes the way we perceive ourselves. This work often reveals that we live more according to our values than we thought.
Living in accordance with your values: what it really means
A value is not a goal to check off, but a direction in life. This is what gives meaning to our choices and guides our daily decisions. Wanting to spend more time with your grandmother is a goal; behind this desire perhaps hides a deeper value, such as the importance given to family. We still need to identify the values that drive us in order to be able to live in accordance with them.
When our days are filled with actions that contradict these values, discomfort can set in. This feeling is not always linked to stress, but sometimes to a disconnect between what really matters to us and the way we live. Over time, this dissonance can lead to anxiety, fatigue, and even burnout. Conversely, acting in line with one’s values nourishes self-esteem, motivation and a more lasting feeling of well-being.
A mini-protocol to align your values and behaviors
In an article on Psychology Todaypsychologist Andrew Beer describes an intervention that links actions and values. He suggests choosing a concrete behavior that you want to increase and then asking the question “why?” several times. » to go back to the underlying value. We then identify behaviors that regularly take the place of these aligned actions, such as scrolling on our phone, and we note each day for three weeks which took place. Sometimes, being attentive to our values and our behaviors can provide unexpected insights: some participants discover that they already live more in line with their values than they thought.
Become better without denying yourself thanks to your values
Living more aligned does not mean turning into a disciplined robot. Living in accordance with your values does not mean leading a perfect life. Above all, it’s about identifying where these values are already present, then gradually expanding these moments in everyday life: calling a loved one, walking for your health, or choosing a creative activity rather than staying in front of a screen. Little by little, these repeated choices reinforce the feeling of inner coherence, self-esteem and personal evolution.