For more than two and a half years, Gérald Kadoche, husband of host Véronika Loubry, has been fighting against pancreatic cancer. On Instagram, the ex-host regularly shares news. But this Wednesday, August 6, she published an overwhelming text on the 42nd chemotherapy session of her husband, accompanied by a black and white photo.
Véronika Loubry: “Two and a half years of fighting”
“”Chimio number 42“, She writes in title of her message. Then, in a text imbued with emotion, she confides:”It’s been two and a half years that you live at the rate of chemotherapy. Two and a half years of fighting, medical meetings, hopes and sometimes big disappointments. This famous emotional elevator “.
On August 6, her husband started “a new cycle” of care. It describes precisely what it means.
“And with him, this decision you already know: shave your hair because it is better before finding it everywhere on the pillow … before seeing each other again without a beard”.
A gesture heavy with meaning. “”It is not only a question of appearance, no no, it is a gesture that reminds us that the disease is still there, tenacious, demanding and that it does not let go “.
She also pays tribute to her courage. “I know that you are tired of this fight and I admire you so much my lover, but out of the question to be put down. Never!“His message ends with an invitation. “There are trials that can change the daily life of our lives then. Take care of yourself”.
The invisible test of the helping spouse, faced with the disease
For psychologist Amélie Boukhobza, when the disease strikes a spouse, “All life starts to turn around her“. Medical meetings, exhausting treatments and projects put on pause punctuate a new balance. We learn to live”With uncertainty, fatigue … and often fear “ she recalls.
She also notes that it is impossible to save suffering to the patient, and that it must also be accepted that he does not support her. Be helping, she explains, “It is an immense act of love, but also a wearing role“.
Our expert also insists on the importance of “Keep a little space to you to hold over the duration“. Without that, “We run out, sometimes even before the patient“. Preserving the couple also involves acceptance of changes, including in tender gestures or intimacy, and by dialogue so as not to let the disease erase everything else.
Advice to cross and overcome the test
During the illness, she recommends accepting “not carrying everything alone” by asking for help from those around them.
“You have to keep a space for yourself, even 30 minutes a day, and preserve moments of normality, such as watching a film or making a walk“She advises.
She also recommends accepting the patient’s mood changes. “”Anger, weariness or silence are not always directed against you, but against the situation “.
And after the disease? Once the patient healed, reconstruction goes through speech, according to the psychologist. “”We must put words on fears, difficult moments, but also on what made it possible to hold “.
The intimacy of the couple may have changed and must be rediscovered “without pressure”, insists the expert. “We must set new joint projects and accept that our couple is different“She adds. And if the balance is difficult to find, a professional can help redefine the roles and move forward,” she concludes.