Every morning, before the city wakes up, there is this suspended moment: a cup of hot coffee in the hands, the silence still intact, a few minutes without notifications or obligations. Nothing extraordinary. And yet, this is perhaps where an essential part of our balance comes into play.
For a long time, many of us learned to view life as a series of goals to achieve: getting a promotion, succeeding in a project, going on vacation, reaching a big milestone. Daily life seemed to be nothing more than a waiting room between two important moments. But this way of thinking often ends up leaving a feeling of emptiness: big events bring intense, but brief, joy before routine takes over.
What if we missed the point by neglecting precisely what makes up the majority of our existence?
The trap of “real life” always being postponed
Many of us live in constant projection. Surviving the week while waiting for the weekend, waiting for the holidays to take a breather, postponing happiness until “later”. However, if we live to be 80, the majority of our approximately 29,000 days will be perfectly ordinary: journeys, meals, banal conversations, mornings similar to the previous ones.
However, a study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies was interested in what researchers call “micro-happiness”: these small moments of satisfaction repeated every day. The results are striking. Simple moments – walking in nature, sharing a moment with loved ones, enjoying a calm break – are more associated with lasting well-being than major life events.
In other words, the extraordinary attracts our attention, but it is the ordinary that really builds our emotional balance.
Why simple moments matter so much
This awareness often becomes stronger with parenthood. We imagine the “big moments”: the first steps, the first words, the start of the school year. But the relationship is mainly built elsewhere: in the nighttime awakenings, the repeated meals, the daily actions repeated a thousand times.
These moments seem trivial because they are neither spectacular nor “instagrammable”. However, it is they who create the link, the emotional memory and the feeling of presence.
Research in positive psychology also shows that a slower and more attentive relationship in daily life promotes better mental well-being. In some cultures, taking the time to chat at the café or share a long meal is not considered a waste of time, but an essential activity in itself.
Conversely, our societies often value hyperproductivity and give the impression that any “useless” time should be optimized. Result: we sometimes go through our days on autopilot, without really living them.
Impermanence: the philosophy that changes our outlook on everyday life
Buddhist philosophy speaks of “impermanence”: everything is constantly changing. The coffee we drink will never be at exactly the same temperature. The morning light will never return at the same angle. A child will never again be as small as today.
This idea may seem melancholy, but it often has the opposite effect. It restores value to ordinary moments by reminding us that they too are unique and ephemeral.
This does not mean giving up ambitions or big projects. But understand that great successes themselves are made of an accumulation of small repetitive gestures: writing a few more lines, responding to a message, taking the time to listen to someone, enjoying a break.
Ultimately, a fulfilled life is not built only in major transformations, but in the quality of attention we give to ordinary days. Because an entire existence is made up of precisely these moments.