A small drama that can give us some palpitations. Imagine: you tell by message your life or a private anecdote, a detail on your work, or a regret about a person. When suddenly, you realize that you sent the message … to the bad person! Or worse, your whole business or family. Gloups, how to get out of this digital bad step?
The most common blunders
First of all, know that you are not alone. Gaffes linked to texts are among the most common, as the media relates Very well mind in a dedicated article. And the field of errors is vast, as we have these touches at the tips of our fingers.
- Automatic correction errors: we want to use a word, but the automatic correction replaces it with another, sometimes very embarrassing;
- Sending to the bad person: involuntarily sending an SMS intended for a friend (who can include intimate details on our personal life) to a colleague or an acquaintance is an unprime experience;
- Accidentally click on “Reply to everyone”: when we mistakenly click the “Reply to everyone” button for a message intended for a single person in the group, our confidentiality can be compromised;
- SMS under the blow of emotion (or drink): sometimes we are particularly emotional and feel the need to immediately share what we experience. It is not always a good idea;
- Double SMS: Other times, we feel the need to explain too much or continue to contact someone if their response is slow. This can overwhelm the other person.
However, these errors can have a considerable emotional impact on the sender, that is to say the one who sends.
Why does that upset us so much?
A two -line SMS sent, and are you covered in panic? But why does this sending put us in such a state of embarrassment? Psychologist Amélie Boukhobza explains it to us.
“”Why does that affect us so much? Because it suddenly shakes up the image we want to give us. We showed ourselves from an angle that we do not control. There was a loss of mastery, something has escaped us … And in a world where everything is filtered, measured, calibrated … The fault is brutal. We feel exposed, vulnerable, sometimes even ridiculous“, She deciphers.
And yet it is only a message, in the background. “”What hurts is what we project behind: the gaze of the other, the judgment, the impression of having been disqualified. “. Taking SMS errors is perceived in our brain as the potential loss of an important relationship.
How to react immediately?
For Amélie Boukhobza, it is already important to… breathe and resume her senses. So no need to flage. Then we assume: “Because frankly, it happens. And everyone. “We can correct, apologize (without confusing yourself as an apology), rectify or even laugh according to the error in question.”A small “oops, bad recipient” is often enough to defuse the situation. Better than an embarrassed silence. “Besides, very often, it is not the error that marks the spirits, but the way we answer it.
A concept confirmed by Vikas Keshri, another psychologist quoted by the American media. If the error is serious and impacts your professional life or harms a relationship, he advises to apologize quickly, but without doing too much, because it can give the impression that the problem is more important than it really is.
He suggests a quick but sincere response, such as: “It was bad from me. I’m really sorry if it had a negative impact. I understand absolutely if I have offended you. I’m sorry. Can I do something to make up for me?“”
How can we make this kind of error anymore?
Will we not get back to it anymore? It is possible. There are indeed effective techniques to avoid this kind of error, even if they are not infallible.
- Add the recipient’s number or address last, once the text is written (and check the recipient before sending);
- Reread your sensitive messages aloud to better perceive how they could be received;
- Write emotional messages in an application, then come back to it once in a better state of mind;
- Avoid sarcasm, unless you know the recipient well and be sure that it will interpret it correctly;
- Disable automatic correction if you have doubts about certain potentially poorly modified or completed words.
But do not ruminate for years either. Our psychologist concluded with a benevolent touch: “What if, basically, these moments simply reminded us that we are human?“. Yes, the error is human. And it can happen to each of us.