It is an argument that comes back more often than we imagine: an overwhelming Like, an ambiguous story or a comment under the photo of an ex … In 2025, it is no longer the words exchanged that hurt first, but digital gestures. The modern couple, young or less young, can no longer be built in camera. He lives under the spotlight, between notifications and staging. What can sometimes, even often, “insinuate themselves in the tranquility of the couple. Why these tools supposed to connect us end up moving away? What is happening in the couple when a phone becomes more attractive than a look?
Social networks, new catalysts of tensions in the couple
In reality, social networks do not necessarily create problems, but they can reveal or amplify nascent tensions, while being everywhere, all the time. Several traps are there, just on our screens.
Digital jealousy is one of the first effects observed. It only takes a heart on a photo or an exchange of night messages to create an insecurity climate. The other becomes suspect. Public profiles offer a window open to life fragments, sometimes over -drunk. The temptation to scrutinize, control or monitor installs insidiously.
Permanent comparison is another formidable trap. On Instagram or Tiktok, idealized couples embrace sunsets. Next to it, the routine seems bland. This nourishes silent dissatisfaction, sometimes unjustified, but very real.
Finally, the need for validation is also at the heart of friction. The absence of comments on a couple publication, the choice of not publishing your partner can be interpreted as a lack of commitment, or even loyalty. And still create arguments.
When digital life takes precedence over real life
But the illusion of connection often masks an emotional disconnection. What is experienced in two suddenly becomes subject to public approval. Some partners feel obliged to display their relationship to “legitimize” it, others, on the contrary, prefer to keep their privacy, which can create tensions.
Psychologist Amélie Boukhobza sums up the mechanisms with accuracy:
“”We don’t always realize it. But what we like, what we comment on, the people we follow … can quickly become explosive in life for two. Because behind the screen, there are interpretations. Doubts. Comparisons … Why does he follow this girl? Why does she like this guy? Why this message? Why at this hour?“”
The algorithm, for its part, adds a layer, tightening us in a loop the same profiles, the same bodies, the same temptations.
“”You can spend your evenings there … and leave feathers. Because if we start to watch, to scrutinize, to search: we will always find a detailed detail. Something to misinterpret.“”
Result: the link is weakening. “Not necessarily because of infidelity. But because of an intrusion. A breach in the intimacy of the couple. The slightest look elsewhere, even virtual, may be enough to awaken very real insecurity. “
Solutions to preserve your relationship to networks
Despite this worrying observation, it all depends on the use of platforms. It is not a question of demonizing Instagram, Facebook or Tiktok, but of placing clear benchmarks to defuse many conflicts. These rules may concern:
- Transparency on subscriptions;
- The frequency of publication of privacy;
- The interpretation of interactions with other users.
Amélie Boukhobza insists on the importance of “putting dialogue where the algorithm took over”:
“What do we do? We are talking about. We put words on what it wakes up, what it triggers. And above all, we set clear limits. Together. Not to flick. But to preserve the link. We stop scrutinizing the other networks as a surveillance field. And we remember that love, the real one, is not measured in likes. But in what we build.