If we often believe that our outfit, our brushing or our lack of sleep (hello dark circles) will determine our sex appeal during a date, we think less of the choice of words. And yet: they have as much impact – if not more – than our physique. Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist shares us the 5 sentences to never say during a romantic meeting.
Words that “turn off the desire”
In the field of seduction, cultivating your personal “aura” is often presented as an essential key. It is not a simple varnish or a technique, but an inner radiation – a form of spontaneous charisma – which captures attention and arouses interest. According to psychologists, this aura is largely based on self -confidence and authenticity.
However, when self -esteem vacillates, it is tempting to compensate by adopting stereotypical speeches or using ready -made sentences. A counterproductive strategy, according to specialists: far from strengthening attractiveness, this lack of sincerity can alter the quality of exchange and slow down any real connection. Seduction, recall psychologists, is not based on performance, but on the correctness of the link established with the other.
“We do not always realize it. But sometimes, what we say spoils everything. This is not here about our appearance, nor our energy. Just … words. By dint of apologizing, minimizing, by modesty or discomfort … Some sentences can become annoying”, underlines Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
Thus, some mechanically repeated sentences end up creating a distance.“They slow down the momentum of the other. And by force, turn off a little – or a lot – desire”, warns the expert.
“Anyway, I’m null in love”
This sentence is supposed to be a way of confiding. “”Except that in reality, it sounds like a sentence. We anticipate the failure, we close the door before even letting someone enter “, warns the practitioner.
“They are all the same”
“”All men / all women are the same. “By pronouncing these few words, “We reduce the other to a generality. Result ? This sentence makes you want to flee, not to prove the opposite “, Assures Amélie Boukhobza.
“I’m too complicated for you”
“This is a way of saying: you will not get there. Far from being mysterious, this sentence is discouraging. We put the other from a distance instead of creating a link”, says the psychologist.
“I prefer to be alone that badly accompanied”
“This sentence resonates with strength, clarity and a daring point. But it closes any meeting space, as if the other should first prove that it will not be ‘badly accompanying'”, warns the specialist.
“You’re going to end up leaving me”
“Even said joking (or not) this sentence acts like a slow poison. We are ahead of the abandonment. We sabotage”, reveals the expert before concluding: “”
The idea is not to censor yourself. But to identify these sentences which ultimately speak more of our fears than our desires. And which prevents, sometimes, that a new, free, living link … has a chance to be born. “