Authority, rigor and success above all: Tigers parents impose an education without respite. Inspired by a Chinese model that erects school and extracurricular excellence as a norm, this educational scheme seduces certain parents who are persuaded to want the best for their children, but it often leads to heavy consequences on their psychological balance.
How to recognize a tiger parent
A tiger parent is distinguished by his permanent requirement and strict authority. For her child, the school is not sufficient: there are often framed activities, chosen and imposed by the parents. The timetable becomes a frantic race towards performance, leaving little room for spontaneity or rest.
Specialists observe that children subjected to this intense pace live in fear and develop a deep lack of self -confidence. Many have signs of anxiety and guilt. Psychologist Caroline Goldman explains: “They are there to flatter their narcissism“. She adds:”Even in a catastrophic emotional state, their concern remains to announce to their entourage the academic success of their child“.
The roots of this educational model
This parental obsession takes root very early, sometimes from the first learning. According to Caroline Goldman, it follows as many “the obsession to see in your child a reflection of self -gratifying“What to”the anxiety of seeing again the deteriorated image that we have of oneself“. In other words, the success of the child becomes the mirror of the parent.
The professor of sociology of the Gérard Neyrand family also points to a social dimension: “I think parents are aware that, in today’s society, you must have a diploma to hope for a professional perspective“Behind the educational pressure hides a fear of failure and exclusion.
The slopes to get out of the spiral
These extreme requirements often come from graduate parents, anxious to transmit the best, but whose expectations affect the development of children. To rebalance the relationship, Gérard Neyrand recommends “give a moment of respite to the child“, recalling that”Boredom is not necessarily bad“.
Caroline Goldman invites parents to “to open their arms big and rather think of giving evidence of love“. She also advises to question herself by investing yourself in personal learning, rather than projecting your desires for success on your child.