Are you the type of person people like spontaneously? The one to whom we easily confide our problems or who we always invite to outings? It’s difficult to know without asking those around you frankly… Fortunately, psychologists have looked into the question. Thanks to a personality test inspired by scientific work, it is possible to gain insight into the image we project to others.
Can sympathy really be measured?
We have all already had this question: “Do other people really find me likeable?”
Contrary to what one might believe, psychology has been interested in this question for a long time. Several researchers have tried to understand why certain people spontaneously inspire trust or easily attract sympathy.
One of the most well-known tools is based on the Big Five, the five major personality traits used in psychological research. It is supplemented by the Reysen Likability Scale, a scale developed by the American psychologist Stephen Reysen to assess the way in which a person is generally perceived by those around them.
The goal is not to say whether you are a “good” or “bad” person, but to better understand the behaviors that promote harmonious relationships.
What this test really reveals about you
Unlike an IQ test or a psychological diagnosis, this questionnaire does not deliver an absolute truth.
Rather, it seeks to answer a simple question: what are the qualities that others perceive most easily in you?
Are you seen as a warm person? Reliable? Pleasant? Curious? Calm in tense situations?
The versions proposed today, in particular by the IDRlabs platform or relayed by Verywell Mind And
Psychologiesare based on a series of affirmations to which everyone responds according to their usual way of being.
But specialists point out that these results must be interpreted with caution.
Indeed, our way of being is far from being fixed. We can appear very open with our friends and much more reserved at work. Our mood, our personal history or even our culture also influence the way we are perceived. In other words, a score is never a label.
The 5 qualities most often found in well-liked people
Research shows that several personality traits recur regularly in people considered likable.
Extroversion
This trait doesn’t necessarily mean being the talkative one in the room. Above all, it reflects an ease in getting in touch with others, in proposing activities, in getting news or in creating connections.
Good news for the more discreet: introverts can be just as appreciated, particularly thanks to their ability to listen and the quality of their exchanges.
Agreeableness
This is probably the trait most directly associated with likability.
A pleasant person shows empathy, listens without interrupting, seeks to understand others and avoids unnecessary conflict.
It often inspires confidence because it gives the feeling of being caring.
Conscientiousness
Being likable isn’t just about being nice. People who are appreciated are also those who can be counted on: they keep their promises, arrive on time, notify in case of delay and respect their commitments.
So many small behaviors that build confidence on a daily basis.
Good emotional stability
Researchers speak of low neuroticism. Concretely, this corresponds to the ability to remain relatively calm in the face of difficulties, not to lose one’s temper at the slightest disagreement or to step back when emotions rise.
Openness to others
Curiosity, interest in new ideas, desire to discover other cultures or other points of view… Open people often make you want to exchange ideas with them because they welcome differences without judgment.
A little exercise to take stock
Without taking a complete test, you can already ask yourself some questions.
Do you often find yourself:
- Spontaneously suggest an outing or check in on your loved ones?
- Listen to someone without interrupting them?
- Keep the promises you make?
- Keep calm during a disagreement?
- Are you genuinely interested in the ideas or experiences of others?
It’s not about getting a perfect score. The main objective is to identify the qualities that you use naturally… and those that you would perhaps like to develop.
Seeking to be appreciated… without wanting to please everyone
Psychologists finally recall an essential point: no one can be likeable in the eyes of everyone.
Our personalities, values and experiences influence how we perceive others. A person considered warm by some may seem too demonstrative to others.
The important thing is therefore not to try to please at all costs, but to cultivate authentic relationships, based on listening, respect and trust. Because, when it comes to sympathy, it is often these qualities that make all the difference.