Here again are the frills, the balls and the promises of marriages in high places! On Netflix, this January 29 sees the return of the Bridgerton Chronicles, for a fourth season, again and again on the theme of love.
Social difference at the heart of the romantic intrigue
The series, familiar with the impossible loves of each member of the Bridgerton family, this time focuses on Benedict. Single, free, adventurous, the young nobleman should nevertheless succumb for good to a mysterious young woman… before discovering that she is a servant. Will he manage to accept the difference in rank (and have it accepted)? If the suspense leaves little doubt (we are all waiting for a happy outcome) the plot nevertheless poses a question that is still relevant today. Can we really build a strong couple when we come from completely opposite backgrounds? We discussed the issue with a couples specialist.
At first, everything is rosy…
For Pascal Anger, psychologist, the difference in social background is not really a difficulty, at least when meeting people.
“Social class is not going to impact this moment.” Currently, far from the Bridgertons, our meetings are more spontaneous, mixed, and often between two people who manage their finances independently… whatever their environment. “The subject of the social environment or the family is not necessarily discussed, nor put on the table when the alchemy is there!” In short, we no longer meet a future husband, but a person for who they are.
On the other hand, it is afterward that relationships can become complicated. “At the moment when we will have to situate ourselves in relation to each other, if one is much richer than the other”
underlines the psychologist. How do we manage daily life, come to an agreement, are we comfortable with differences in income, backgrounds, etc.?
“A priori, you don’t marry someone’s wallet” reassures the expert, “but we don’t live on love and fresh water for very long either.”. These are therefore questions that must be addressed, without taboo.
Another sometimes complicated point: families. And the way they will appreciate or not appreciate the partner. If they are not stakeholders in the couple, they can however add tensions and difficulties, especially if the partners already have doubts.
Different but in love: how to make it last?
Fortunately, everything is not doomed when two partners, very different socially, find each other. The key? Communication, on all subjects.
“When we don’t come from the same social background, it’s a bit the same as when we have different cultures and religions. We must freely approach what makes the difference, and what connects us, beyond love.”
Relationship with money, children’s education, place of work in one’s life, projects… “If we are in tune on this, and respect differences, then there is no reason not to be able to live our love story.”
Tackle everything, so as not to use it later
Because the risk, when there are things left unsaid, is to brandish the difference later, to oppose. “JI have many couples in sessions, who are at first proud of their differences, everything is beautiful, everything is wonderful. Then who let the relationship deteriorate precisely because these differences take up too much space. By throwing them in your face” underlines the psychologist.
Not broaching the subject of the difference in background, finances, acting as if it were nothing or as if it changes nothing in love is therefore also a risk. That of nurturing prejudices within the couple over the years.
“What is important is to have common projects and common passions that there is respect for differences and that our partner does not use this difference to demean or humiliate us” concludes the expert.
A combination fortunately much simpler today than in the Victorian era.