Do you feel dominated in your relationship? Long associated with male domination, the expression has changed sides. Today, many men (and sometimes women) feel relegated in their own relationships. To better understand this dynamic, and above all, to restore balance without conflict, psychologist Amélie Boukhobza offers 4 essential tips.
Why do some couples fall into an unbalanced relationship?
If the expression “wear the pants” is familiar, it often summarizes in a caricatured way a more complex reality. “In my opinion, this popular expression somewhat oversimplifies the complex relationships and balances of power that exist between the partners of the couple.“, warns Amélie Boukhobza.
In fact, an imbalance can develop insidiously: one of the two partners naturally takes up more space, makes decisions without consulting the other, or organizes daily life alone. The other ends up fading away… or accumulating resentment. For the psychologist, this drift is often linked to a lack of listening and a poor distribution of responsibilities.
The 4 concrete levers to restore balance
Amélie Boukhobza first insists on a fundamental element: communication. Too often, things left unsaid stifle the relationship. “The foundation of a balanced relationship lies in their ability to communicate openly and honestly about their needs, expectations and feelings.“, she insists.
- Express your needs and emotions clearly, without fear of being judged;
- Enhance the strengths and weaknesses of each person instead of entering into a power struggle;
- Rebalance responsibilities (household chores, financial decisions, social life, parenting);
- Encourage personal activities in addition to shared ones, to preserve everyone’s independence.
She also reminds us that it is healthy not to always agree: “Disagreements are inevitable in a relationship, but we can also learn to manage them correctly, in particular by avoiding power struggles.“. What if the situation remains blocked? “You may need to seek professional outside help.“, she concludes.
Resuming your place in the couple without conflict
Changing a couple dynamic does not mean entering into confrontation. It’s more about taking back your place, gently, by asserting your ideas, your desires, your needs. This sometimes involves small concrete adjustments, sometimes through real upheavals.
The most important? Feeling respected, listened to, and recognized as a full partner. As Amélie Boukhobza summarizes, “promoting independence within the couple allows everyone to feel fulfilled and respected“. And it often starts with a single question: what place do you really want to occupy in your relationship?