As important as it is, family can also be a source of stress. Hurtful remarks, conflicts among siblings, an overly intrusive parent… These situations, commonplace for many, could have much more profound consequences than we think.
Just one difficult parent can give you gray hair
An American study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) suggests that chronically conflictual family relationships are associated with accelerated biological aging.
The researchers analyzed data from 2,345 adults, of whom 29% of participants reported having at least one “difficult” person in their close circle (core family).
And strangely enough, it was parents, children or brothers and sisters who had the strongest link with premature aging, much more than spouses.
In order to measure the chemical modifications of DNA linked to cell degradation, scientists studied DNA taken from saliva samples using two recognized tools: GrimAge2 and DunedinPACE. The conclusions are striking:
- The presence of a conflicting relative would be associated with approximately one year of additional biological age,
- Each additional difficult person in the entourage would correspond to almost nine months of additional biological aging.
In the long term, this effect could be significant: over ten years, this would represent up to 18 months of additional biological aging…. Yes, just because of your annoying sister.
A cumulative and unequal effect
The study also highlights that exposure to difficult family relationships is socially unequal.
Women, people who have experienced childhood trauma or those already in poor health more often report conflicting relatives.
Each additional stressor is also associated with more depression, anxiety, inflammation, and chronic disease.
Chronic stress, a silent poison for the body
For Dr. Gérald Kierzek, emergency physician and public health expert, these results are consistent with what we already know about the effects of stress on the body.
“It is not just a feeling of aging: it is a real biological wear and tear of the cells and systems of the body”.
According to him, repeated family tensions constitute chronic psychosocial stress: constant criticism, conflicts, lack of emotional support, etc.
In this context, the body repeatedly activates the stress response system, notably the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, leading to prolonged secretion of cortisol and adrenaline.
A family trip, and repercussions on the whole body
This chronic activation of stress disrupts several essential functions:
- The cardiovascular system: increased blood pressure, increased heart rate, stiffness of the arteries;
-
The immune system: reduced defenses, greater vulnerability to infections;
- Metabolism: accumulation of abdominal fat, insulin sensitivity disorders, weight gain.
- The nervous system: anxiety, sleep disorders, difficulty concentrating and memory.
“In the long term, this permanent activation promotes inflammation and weakens the body overall” emphasizes Dr. Kierzek.
Two major biological mechanisms explain this phenomenon. The first is the shortening of telomeres, these structures located at the ends of chromosomes. “The faster they shorten, the sooner the cells age and die. However, numerous studies show that chronic stress is associated with shorter telomeres..
The second is allostatic load, that is to say the cumulative physiological wear and tear linked to repeated exposure to stress.
“A high allostatic load increases the risk of cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, cognitive disorders or certain cancers.”
How to protect yourself?
For Dr Kierzek, it is not a question of demonizing family relationships, but of becoming aware of their impact on health.
It recommends in particular:
- Set limits or distance yourself from chronic tensions;
- Use mediation or family therapy;
- Strengthen protective factors: physical activity, quality sleep, balanced diet, external social support and stress management techniques (relaxation, mindfulness).
And if the mere thought of visiting family exhausts you, know that it’s not just in your head. It is high time to consider more peaceful moments, and perhaps more spaced out.