Born in the wake of ghosting and orbiting, this practice consists in going fully in a relationship, and then disappears without saying a word … before reappearing when the other begins to turn the page. It is this emotional, voluntary and calculated back and forth, which feeds a powerful bond of grip. For psychologist Johanna Rozenblum, this dynamic is not trivial: “This practice is extremely intrusive, unhealthy and toxic“.
Between ghosting and emotional surveillance
The term comes from English “to prow”, literally “prowling”. And that’s what the PROWLER does: he prowls, directly or indirectly, around his target. The merry-go-round often starts with an ultra-presence phase: messages, attention, emotional investment. Then, overnight, radio silence.
But unlike ghosting, PROWLING does not stop there. Far from disappearing completely, the person returns sporadically. A Like, a story seen, an unexpected message. Just enough to maintain the other while waiting. “”The goal is to create attachment and dependence to strengthen the need“Explains the psychologist. And it works: by dint of false starts and unforeseen returns, the victim clings to each interaction as to an emotional buoy.
This toxic behavior plays with nerves and psychological stability. It creates a constant imbalance, permanent emotional insecurity. “”The manipulator creates thrills by ultra-presence mechanisms and then disappears for a period to finally come back a few time later“Summarizes Johanna Rozenblum.
The psychological consequences of PRWLING are heavy
Behind this apparent lightness-a message here, a disappearance there-hides a much darker reality. Prowling causes real emotional confusion. The targeted person is torn between the hope of the return and the anxiety of abandonment. They often undergo heavy consequences:
- Loss of emotional landmarks;
- Reinforced emotional dependence;
- Decrease in self -esteem;
- Difficulty projecting yourself into other relationships;
- Intense psychic fatigue.
“”We are talking about a grip mechanism here“, Specifies the psychologist. It is not a simple game of seduction or a communication error. It is a voluntary process, in which presence and absence are used as weapons to maintain an asymmetrical link.
How to get out of the infernal cycle of PROWLING?
The first step is to put a word on what we live. Many prweling victims feel guilty or minimize the situation. They think they exaggerate, that they do not understand well. In reality, they are faced with manipulation.
“”The hardest is to realize it“, Confirms Johanna Rozenblum. Once the awareness is done, you have to cut net. No message, no justification.”As with a narcissistic pervert, you should neither try to understand, nor find them apologies“.
Protecting yourself also goes through the entourage: friends, therapists, close to confidence. It is essential to reconnect to healthy, stable relationships, without ulterior motives. And above all, to refocus on yourself. Regain control of your emotions, regain its emotional autonomy, rebuild your confidence.